I stated in my project proposal that I want to look at projection of film and integrating an interactive/immersive element to it. I think it is important that I quickly experiment with mixing immesiveness and projection so I can begin to get a grip on how to approach this and how effective it could be. 

i want to experiment with the  visual of projection which is interacted with (spoken too, understood not as a projection but an actual presence) , within an immersive environment. i decided to experiment with this through  film to see if it would be successful. i also wanted to experiment with the concept of the internet as a talking presence, almost like a deity talking down to humanity.To me if I were to personify the internet it has a hypnotic, seductive allure that imposes itself onto our everyday life.  i wanted to explore this idea of power and hypnosis, showing the allure and captivating element to social media which seems to have frozen us in a trance. 

i am going to begin with writing a script which the projection will talk/communicate to the protagonist in the film. i am unsure if i want it to be literally talking (green screen mouth) or maybe visually communicating through symbols? or maybe i could use text/ subtitles. i will need to consider and reflect on this.  I am considering talking to my classmate Rose Draper about the script as I have always seen her scripts in her work as very strong and captivating, but maybe this is something I should attempt on my own?

THE SCRIPT 

while writing this i wanted to encapture a very sinsiter, highly powerful feeling. i wanted the imagrey to not really make sense, or be blown massively out of proportion or severley understated with odd juxtapositions which sound logical as sentences but could not ever be possible if attemoted to be man-made. i did this to show the infinate knowlege and endless imagrey that the internet has access too, which in comparison makes mankind seem weak and unpowerful. 

i also wrote in present tense (you are now) as opposed to (you will) to make it seem as though as the person listening is listening for longer they are being sucked in and it is actually becoming relality. i am unsure of how i would portray this during the film, maybe i will actually try and film some of these images? or i could do stop motion and edit it in? this change in aethetics could be interesting to explore. i could do collage ontop of a greenscreen which i could layer ontop of my own footage which could be intersting, however maybe it is too human/real for the vocice of the internet. maybe i should use a very internety aethetic such as animation/graphics. i could possibly find this on stock images?

i have decided that i want to have a human mouth speaking the script. I think it could look really interesting with no background and then projected onto the wall in a scene of the film, becasue then it is not seen as a seperate image but like the mouth is coming out of the wall to talk directly to the character.

I stated in my project proposal that I am looking at fragmentation of the self. I therefore am isolating the mouth to confront this idea of the self online is not a complete entity. it is fragmented which is a direct way to confront my concept. however on later reflection maybe this is too obvious ? as this piece is not directly about fragmentation I think it is okay, 

it could be interesting to explore the sizing and placement of the mouth. it could be interesting having it really really REALLY huge so it covers the entire room. this could give a really visually clear image of the internets power and ominoptense. it could also be interesting having it really really reEALLY TINY, so that the human being has to lean in really close to squint at it

. this could work well as the words are very powerful therefore it could assert a quite confidence coming out of a very small projection.

 if the projection is really small it could be cool to look at it not just on the wall but also maybe on a shampoo bottle, or a bar of soap??? this could or so interesting ! maybe inside of a bottle so the girl has to peer down into the cup/bottle? this might not be possible though as there will be limitations with the projector, how far it can reach into the room and dangers if its near water/fire ect. i will also need to find someone to hold it for me while i film.

 Today I am planning to film the screen screen mouth and possibly experiment with other body parts while reading the script. This is the set up I used below

while editing the screenscreen out of the footage, i reslised that i should have used someone elses voice rather than mine, it could have been interesting to experieement with different voice tones/ gendres/accents. i just did me because i was free and able to use the green paint that evening however i didnt give any thought into how i would sound. as this is my first experieental film i will keep it with me howeber i am going to look into editing the audio to give it an interesting effect.

i will also look at experiementing with the timing/maybe slowing it down loads or speeding it up. i will need to do this before i do any of the filming though or else the audio wont sink up to the movement of the lips. 

LATER REFLECTION : another fault I overlooked is that I did not take the paint inside my nose so when it is projected onto the wall there is specks of white above the mouth which removes the viewer from the dream state I sedated them into. these very small misses of detail can have very large affects on the work, I need to either consider reshooting or being mindful of this in the future

experiemting with placement of projetion

 today I wanted to explore how I would project the lips, I have previously mostly used my projector without scale in mind therefore I want to look at the limitations of how big and small I can position the image without it becoming out of focused, or loosing too much of the detail and quality, 

here I was looking at including hidden messages in wiriting, possibly onto a bathroom tile or inside a shampoo bottle?  

As a whole image I like the mouth projected onto the wall by the left of the girl in the bath and it creates an overall single interesting shot. furthermore it is large and clearly visible, I think this works best in film as it is clear and impactful making it shocking and clear the the viewer, I think it is one think to have obscurity but it takes away from it when you make the shot obscure as well. 

I really liked the effect of the mouth projected into the water and this is definitely something I want to explore further in more detail throughout the project. I think it ties in interestingly with fragmentation of self perception as water often blurrs and distorts the original image. 

even though i was capturing a girl in the bath, i decided to give her a swimming costume rather than depict her nude as people usually are when they take a bath.

i did this not only for the comfort and ease of my friend, but also because this is not meant to be an everyday bath, as seen by its design and lighting. this is meant to be a bubble in reality, where breaks and glitches in reality happen such as the intenet being able to talk to a girl in the bath. therefore i did not need complete realism of how someone would take a bath.

furthermore nuditity i think always holds connitations and meaning of genre/diveristy/ the male gaze ect which are not themes i am exploring in this film so i did not think it was a necessary element. 

Below are stills i did not include in the film but i think are very beautiful. i think they capture a lovely sense of intimacy and safety like when you take a bubble bath as a child. i also think the pink lighting reflects nicely on the read swimming costueme as well as the cancels as it all projects warmth.

Final film stills 

https://vimeo.com/user82713127

what I learnt from this experimentation

I learnt from making this film that I am interested in exploring further the idea of fragmented Body parts, projection which direcrtly speaks to the audience or a protagonist in the film, and the idea of the internet's hypnotic all encompassing effect possibly through script personifying it.  

as the mould had a lot of leaking It was only able to hold a very shallow amount of the jelly, sand I was therefore only able to remove a cast of the lower Half of the face which was the lips and chin. 

I think that despite this not going to plan, I am quite interested with this outcome. I think that it looks very supple, I almost want to kiss it, this could be an interesting metaphor to explore the self indulgent aspect of putting your content online, self obsession ( linking back to previous reading on 'high monitoring people) I think that because it is not a full face it places much more emphasis on the mouth, making it the primary focus of the sculpture. it also is interesting as I am looking at fragmentation and this  is further fragmenting the face. 

in the future I think I will still like to attempt to get a full face cast to see what potential that image can hold, however it could be interesting to also further explore section of the face such as isolating maybe just a nose. 

I primarily did this experiment to see how much detail the jelly would take, and I was surprised to see it actually picks up a lot of detail. therefore it also picked up the texture of the mod rock making it look very grainy and weirdly textured, not like skin. this is actually a really good discovery as it means that jelly will be a good material to continue to work with as it will pick up what im casting with it really well it just means I need to be more conscious about the matierlas im making my moulds with 

I took this picture of my flatmate 'wearing' the cast of my face. Its a very scary and funny picrtre but the idea behind it could be interesting to explore the idea of putting on a face online which isn't really yours? possibly looking into editing apps life factune, also this idea in china of 'Saving face' but making it literal.

due to understanding how much detail the jelly makes and the issues with leaking I went to talk to the technican again aboutt ways to solve this. she helped me come to the conclusion that I should make a plastic mould with a mask of mod rock to hold it in place, then make a plaster mould and then make a vacuum seal of the face which will be a really good mould for the jelly as it re-useable, holds a lot of detail and is completely air tight, also because it is plastic you can see the jelly go in and if its setting.

my friend dan who is a complete kind patient angel for letting me subject him to the tortures of my art was free this evening to let me cast his face. this is something I need to consider in later reflection about the effects this will have on the visual of the jelly head of who it is and its gender. 

I began by protecting his hair, eyebrows and eyelashes with clingfilm and vaseline so that the mold wouldn't peel them off

I really like this image as a picture in itself! it looks like a terrifying prosetic piece alsmot as though he is undergoing or has come out of getting plastic surgery. it is making me think of If the moon had too much botox this is how it would look. possibly prosetics could be an interesting route to explore if I end up incorporating this sculpture into video?

another fun inverse face ! I like how as dan has very thick eyelashes and the plastic mould took a lot of detail you can even see them in the mould, it adds a very human element which I really enjoy 

dan was actually a really good person to use for this as he has very strong features which came out really well in the cast, I have small features and I think they were lost in my cast but here you can reallyy distinguish in detail all the parts of his face which is really great.

I also really like this image where his eyebrow hairs are stuck into the mold. it could be interesting to explore this limbo between very intimate personal real and the fake 2D glowing screen presence on being online 

I wanted to briefly look at what would happen if I took  this BACK into the medium of technology, therefore I made a tinder (online dating app) profile for Dan's face to see if I could find him love.

I wanted to look at the visual images of matching the face with Dan's real tinder profile and look at a conversation between these two selves to further explore this idea of fragmentation. however I am yet to find dan's profile on the app and so will need to update this later when I do. 

I do not think this was sucessful it is more humorous, however It is something I wanted to try.

progress tutorial feedback 

( Remember : I really need to start bringing my sketchbook to tutorials instead of using my hands )

 This was a really really helpful tutorial. when discussing my most recent images of the projected face into the water my tutor made the compression between the image and the Ancient Greek myth of narcissus. the boy who fell in love with his own reflection and drowned attempting to kiss it. during a conversation n the image parallel of narcissus gaming into the waster and that metaphrosis through current time of the laptop replacing the lake he gazed into took my attention and is something I would like to look into.

The tutorial helped me realise I need to now focus on writing and evaluating on my previous submissions in order to get to grips with how to continue on with my work. I will also re read my original project proposal stated aims. 

this week I have been focusing on preparing for my BA interview for the Slade. I have included the awnsers I wrote that concern the foundation course as I think they were interesting reflections on past and current work.

2. If you have undertaken a Foundation, what do you feel you have gained from it?

The Central St Martins foundation has been hands off in their teaching approach, which to me has been the most valuable thing from the course. This freedom has taught me responsibility of how to manage my time and helped me give an ‘end’ to my work as opposed to continuously adapting and evolving the same piece. This autonomy has also allowed me to to understand my individual practice as an artist in a more mature way as I have been forced to be more introspective about how I approach my work and source inspiration. 

On the foundation I have developed an appreciation for the physical space of the studio. Being able to take my work into this space to be critiqued and looked at from varying perspectives of my peers and my tutors has been valuable to me, as I’ve learnt to take not only physical but emotional steps back from my work to consider how it is viewed by people with different backgrounds and mindsets to my own. The studio space has also allowed me to actively live with what I create , letting me constantly reflect and live with my experimentation, where I can re-visit and develop upon past ideas. Previously I did this within my home, however I found it useful to separate my work from where I sleep as distancing yourself for a while can be very beneficial as you see it in a new light. 

 I have specialised into Fine art 4D where themes of technology are often discussed within the studio. As I often use film and projection within my work I am constantly aware of the irony of confronting issues of technology with the medium itself. However over time I have come to see this as a very powerful tool as you are confronting the audience with the issue physically as well as conceptually. I’ve learnt to utilise new media within technology such as use of editing and found footage and green-screen in a project.

 I began the foundation certain in pursuing a career as a photographer, however discovered this year the  joy I receive from physically with my hands and how much I thrive within a conceptual setting for my work.  Ive learnt during this year how synonymous creating is with living for me. The foundation has provided many things but most importantly I’ve gained a confidence in my work and the pleasure I receive from making it, which i will carry through to the BA and onwards to a career in the arts. 

3. Choose a piece of work and discuss your decision making process from conception to completion. You may choose a piece of work which you think was successful or unsuccessful. 

Recently I have  been interested in the idea of your online presence as a ‘body’ in its own right. I’ve previously explored this through cremation, looking at our online information as a ‘dead body’ which is exploited by companies in the form of big data. More recently I have been looking at how visually rich our online presence is yet our inability to touch smell and physically consume it. 

I have explored this concept in further detail in my photographic outcome ‘Leasure’.  This project initially began as inspiration from an essay I had read by Theodore Adorno. Often an intrinsic part of my process is the literature I read which I will heavily annotate, let the concepts marinate for a while in my brain, and then re-read my annotations. This tends to often be where I get initial ideas for visual experimentation. Adorno’s ‘Free Time’ was a piece of text I had read which truly shocked me. It made me completely reavevalaute the structure within I assumed the course of my life would take.  Whilst looking through my annotations of the text, I was drawn to the image of people loosing what it is that makes them human and being regarded as just cogs in a machine, herded like schools of fish to keep the capitalist wheel spinning. 

 For inspiration I visited Billingsgate fish market. The market was only open from 4am to 8:30am, and as I was out that night I went directly from a nightclub in Soho to the market. There was something incredibly interesting to me about the experience of going from the interior space of a club, to the space of the fish market. Both where large white spaces full of people, however the nightclub had a strong sense of social uncertainty where many different things were expected from you. On the other hand the fish market was very straightforward in terms of expectation, people where entering the room only to buy and sell fish. It made me think of an essay id read by Hito Stertyl ‘free fall: a thought experiment on vertical perspective’ where she discusses the impact the change from steady Ariel perspective to an omnipotent birds eye view, and how  this has effected out own self perception and view of the world.

  At the fish market I purchased an octopus.  The dead Body of the octopus made me think of how we are leaving a well documented ‘dead body’ of ourselves online which isn’t allowing us to organically die ourselves. We cannot move on emotionally from how we used to be because we cannot forget it, it is archived in immense detail online. Because of this we cannot go through the very healing process of organic death of past versions of ourself. I wanted to physicalise this online body griping, chocking and weighing down our real selves, visualising this battle of self perception. 

 I decided to model with the octopus, this was interesting as to me it became very much a performative aspect as well as a photographic outcome.  The ink oozing from its body was very painful on my skin, and the experience of struggling to breath under its weight was incredibly disturbing. I also encountered emotional Issues during the process as it was unsettling and upsetting to be holding the dead body of such a beautiful and magnificent creature.

i explored taking the imagery further by accompanying it with a script I had created made up on quotes form the Adorno essay as well as words which people had underlined in books I found in a second hand book store, in order to look at our organic left behind data. I also explored projecting the images accompanied with the script within an immersive installation of wire and fabric. Although these where interesting to explore, feedback from the crits informed me that the most striking element was the imagery itself which is how I have decided to display it in my portfolio. 

When hearing about the change of the interview to an online submission I decided to confront this idea of perception of self online. This projected face shines light onto the inaccessibility of who we portray ourselves to be online, it is an illusion created by light shone through plastic mould which cannot be touched, life can not exist within it. By scripting answers to these interview questions I have been able to edit and manipulate how you view me as a person and a potential candidate, I am therefore in essence not actually real. 

how have my outcomes delt with my initial concerns?

 my outcomes have felt with my initial concerns of how to visually approach the theme of fragemnetaiton by exploring casting and projection. however due to the lockdown I will not be able to continue with more casting of body parts, however I do have the vacuum face mould which I think has created successful imagery which I would like to look at further. to see if these outcomes have dealt with my original concerns of prompting the viewer to look at their own online presence I will need to see how other people respond to these works. I will do this by sending pictures of them to family and friends to see their response.  

if they have changed we need to see the why, how?

I do not think my inital concerns have changed, however due to the outbreak of the virus leading to lockdown I think I will need to find a new alternative to a large scale installation. I think I will need to look at approaching it in a smaller scale or possibly removing sculptural elements and just having as a film as a piece in itself. this is quite a disappointing change though so im going to think harder about ways in which I can still make it 3 dimensional. I am still interested in my original conceptual aims and think I am exploring these effectively. 

self-isolation thoughts on art as an institution

I am on around day four of eating packets of quavers in my bed and I have had a lot of time to think about the foundation course as a structure. While doing research for my project I came across an interview with artist Zac Blass who occasionally teaches at the university of goldsmiths for fine art. He was asked if he gets inspiration from the students and he was saying he enjoys input from students in foundation/first year as they are not so ‘institutionalised’. This made me think, why on earth do we make art institutions if we want our future artists to not be ‘so institutionalised’ and to think outside of a rigid structure, which is enforced at Csm through the grading system. Is it created in order for the students to have something to question in order to prompt us to think about ‘fighting the machine?’ If so isn’t that really patronising to let someone under the impression they’re rebelling when it has been set up under false pretences? Or is it that art is so subjective it is impossible to teach without a right evaluation system?

 I just keep hearing that the most valued thing in art isn’t the grades or where you studied etc its just your passion for art, but how can that be the most valued thing when the only feasible way it seems to get into the art industry is through going to a well known art school which requires certain academic grades and a pass in a foundation. Not to mention that through this process you are isolating those who cannot afford to study on all these levels, and I feel as though the last thing we need in art is more privileged rich voices? Im definitely part of that and I’m now uncertain if I should be adding more noise to the art world, but I really enjoy making it and I something feel as though others enjoy looking at it so maybe its ok as long as I’m aware of where I stand. 

My flatmate was saying that art schools should be free, open spaces which are not graded and evaluated through rigid structures but just places for open discussion and honest conversation. Maybe that’s too dream world idealistic but I think that could be really beautiful. There seems to be a persistent hierarchy within art which is deeply unpleasant, and as a result I often feel hesitant to call myself an artist at times because it seems ‘artist’ is synonmymous with saying ‘i think my ideas are more valued than most people’s and therefore deserve to be exhibited and physicalised’ and I don’t think that. 

Maybe quarantine is making me way to contemplative and negative but I wanted to put this here because its been a big thought on my mind regarding what I’m making.

how the virus is going to effect my work and outcome

 I have been struggling recently to think and continue on with my project proposal. The virus is not going to only effect how I present my outcome (as an interactive video installation which Is large scale is no longer realistic) however it is also effecting  my ability to think and reflect. it feels strange to concentrate on themes which aren't the virus as it is the only thing in the media and in conversation. I usually source much of my inspiration from conversation media and what I see around me but even when I go for walks outside there is constant evidence of the pandemic. therefore it now feels weird to be looking into themes and exploring art which is not centred around this. 

I was thinking back to the surrealists and how they often did expresses in free association where they attempted to unlock their subconious by doing constant streams of words or art. In my flat I stuck old portfolio sheets to the wall where my roommate and I used acrylic, glitter and spray paint to just vomit out any imagery currently in our minds in hope to make us feel more creative again.

it felt nice for a moment to not be thinking about a project proposal or the worldwide virus. I wonder if other forms of escapism like drugs and virtual reality headsets have suddenly spiked in use as no one really wants to be present in this reality anymore. this could actually be something really interesting to explore in my project, our online presence as a form of escapism and how this could escalate one day to everyone living only in virtual reality??

but alsohow lucky am I to be able to holed up inside a cozy apartment with my friend to make art and take a step outside of the very busy motorway of life. I think this might actually by one of the only government induced moments of 'forced peace' ill ever live through. although I miss being outside and coming into the studio I am so incredibly fortunate to be able to be in position I am when others are sick and in worse quartile situations such as a toxic family or alone.  the weight of serious problems being lifted maybe makes me focus more sadly on the smaller issues which I shouldn't do, I am so lucky. I may miss it when it's over. I don't think location can make you happy f you are unhappy internally and I think this is making a lot of people look into themselves for awnsers rather than else where. I have been given the gift of time.

Story boarding ideas for the film 

today I finalised the writing of the script where I have personified a parent explaining the concept of death to their young child through an animated skeliton and a stop motion fake flower 

I have thought long and hard about the voice. if I use my own I would like to put a distorting filter on it as the main viewers of this film will be people who have been studying with me and will associate my voice with me, taking them out of the space of the film. however as I have encountered in thee past vocal filters often make the audio difficult to make out the words. I have considered sending it off to my friends however due to quarantine I will not be able to explain in enough detail how I want it to be read/ which pase ect. 

I have decided on asking my dad to be the voice of death. I am yet to decide what to do for the flower. I chose to do this as my dad used to read me bedtime stories and I have always found his voice very soothing. furthermore it sounds very parental which is what I am going for as opposed to sending this to one of my teenage friends. 

digital stills from filming the 'toilette fairy scenes' 

I actually re-shot this without the angel wings as I did not want her to be confused with an angel, someone who is associated strongly with death, I wanted her to be a member of everyday life. 

for costume I dressed my flatmate in a light pink dress and big bright costuming necklace I had as I thought it would link to the children's tv theme of making her accessible and fun to look at, further more larger jewlry translates better onto moving image. 

I used the same pink lighting (purple clingfilm wrapped over a cold white studio light) that I did for the stop motion flower scenes and I kept on a valsenline blurring filter for continuity, making the images appear soft and gentle. 

I was very grateful and flattered that Eric chose to interview me for this! I really love his work and respect his practice as an artist so I felt very seen and validated that he could also recognise something that resonated with him in my work : ) 

I am shy speaking publicly and found this nerve wracking especially as it had been a while since I swelled on the themes I explored in this project however this is something SO interesting to re-visit old work in a new climate ( in this instance the virus) it was so so so cool to see how my and other's works exploring the theme of outdoors has changed due to the virus. this is something I will take forwards with my in my practice, to let works sit and resurface them in the future to see how it changes them. I need to be careful not to do this to alter them or else the work will never be finished. but to do my writing and evaluation at later points as well as currently.  

following feedback these where the weakest parts to work on. the sequence at the end seemed out of place in terms of colour scheme and fonts -lacklusture. I think for the submission I will just remove this as I have since moved back home to my family and no longer have the materials I shot with, furthermore within a show reel there is no time for credits. 

Another part to work on is the transition from the pink animation to the real life graveyard footage, maybe I will look at making a transitional scene or adding a filter to make a sense of continuity?

also I need to change to positioning from horizontal to vertical however this is an easy adjustment,